'Tis the eve of my birthday. My birthday falls on Wednesday this year which is EXCELLENT because I love a good hump day. I have the day off from work, and it's going to be the warmest day of the year so far...eighty degrees I believe...so guess who gets to wear shorts on her bday?! THIS GIRL. Legs, I miss you guys. You're embarassingly white, but hey, nobody's coming out tan from the winter besides the fake and bakers of the world, which is apparently almost everyone. The LA Tan down the block is ALWAYS blowin' up. Let me reiterate, all three LA Tan locations within a half mile radius of my apartment are always blowin' up.
Anyway, I'm going to selfishly show you a few things that I want this year. Nothing against my Mom and Dad, but I politely declined both gifts they gave me for both Christmas and my last birthday. I know, I know, I'm an ungrateful bitch, but allow me to defend myself. This is my personal forum, afterall. First and foremost, I can't stomach the fact that people want to get me things. It's all a part of the insecurity complex. Second off, I can't stomach those people wasting money on things I won't actually use. I'd rather you have your money than for me to have another item that collects dust. I don't have time for it, I say!
A note to Mom and Dad, Glo and Jam, what have you: I know you try your best every year and the only reason you are not so successful at gifting is that I mostly shut you out of the material portion of my life. I don't see a problem with that until it comes to occasions which actually involve material goods. THE SNL DVDS WERE A GREAT CALL, HOWEVER. (and don't think I forgot about the sweet sixteen guitar or the cutest little computer I'm currently typing upon)
Okay, so this is an off the top of my head kinda list...I don't actually have an ongoing physical list of products that I want. I think I did that in high school at some point, and I felt really sad about my life. If it's in my head, it don't even count:
1. The
Marc Jacobs 'Classic-Q Natasha' handbag. I've always wanted a black Marc Jacobs bag. Let's be real though, I REALLY want a vintage Halston crossbody bag, but one of those could set me back a whole few thousand dollars...SO, until I book a high school based show on the CW Network when I'm thirty, I'll have to hold off.
2. I want a pouf for the home! I do. I can't help it. West Elm just came out with
a line of unreal poufs...and then of course I live and breathe for
this little gold number from Nate Berkus. Then again, I'll buy anything if a gay with good taste is sellin' it. My pouf is going to be the dog I'm not allowed to have due to the restrictions in my building. I'll love it and pet it all the time. But, get this, this is a dog you can sit on! And if you happen to sit on your actual dog, you're on my bad list.
3. I've just always wanted this book. I'm a fan.
4.
Quelques Fleurs perfume. My friend at work wore it out one night, and it was INTOXICATING. I may or may not have proposed marriage to her all night long. I will also always and forever love
Chloe perfume, because it's SO good, but also because the first and only bottle I ever got was from my favorite person on the planet two birthdays ago. Yes, I cried when I got it. Unexpected acts of kindness always get to me.
5. If you're my girlfriend there's a ninenty-nine percent chance I've done your eye makeup. I look at it this way, if daily face painting unacceptable, I will go to TOWN on a blank canvas of eyelid. And
these two palettes are the stuff dreams are made of for an eyeshadow enthusiast.
I also want speakers that I can hook up to my computer to play music louder than the whisper sound which comes from my tiny netbook computer. Honestly, I'm for the most part technologically uninterested, so I wouldn't even know where to start with this. And in the appliance category I need a blowdryer and a vacuum. I'd rather have all the fun things above though and just deal with crinkly hair and a dirty floor. Priorities.
So, there we have my list. What better day than my birthday to be selfish? CUZ IT'Z MAH DAY. I hope your hump day is as sweet as I hope mine is going to be...minus the one hour I'm allowing myself to cry about the self perceived terrible state of my almost quarter life. ha. ha. GOOD day.
